The Origin of Noodles
by NMMacc18
Summary: The Noodle Incident. Perhaps the most infamous mystery in all of Calvin and Hobbes, what was the Noodle Incident? Well look no further, now, you will finally be able to see what the Noodle Incident really was (Or at least how I believe what happened) and see how chaotic Calvin can really get. I mean, it couldn't of been that bad right? Wrong.
1. The Start of a Regular Day

**Chapter 1: The Start of a Regular Day**

It was a cold, cloudy winter day in Chagrin Falls, Ohio. Most people were planning on having a regular day, going on through their daily routines, with nothing usual planned.

Well, there was one exception.

Take a wild guess.

"Every day its the same old thing. Nothing ever changes, its just school, school, school." Calvin said to his tiger best friend Hobbes as he got dressed for school. Hobbes was listening to Calvin but wasn't really interested in Calvin's rambling.

"But not today. Today, I go for the gusto." Calvin said as he put on a cape and a space helmet.

"I think you should ask your mom if that's okay." Hobbes said, knowing that whatever Calvin was planning, was going to lead to big trouble as usual.

"Oh relax you sissy, its just going for the gusto. I want to do something interesting today while I'm at school, and by golly, if nobody else will follow with me, then I'll go for the gusto all by myself! And prove his is the greatest genius of all time!" Calvin said over confident in himself.

"What are you going to do that's 'going for the gusto'?"

"None of your beeswax." Calvin said as he left his room.

Hobbes groaned, he knew something disastrous was going to happen, and Calvin was going to be the one to do it.

Calvin went downstairs, and proceeded to pour a bowl of his favorite cereal, Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs.

"Er... Calvin? What's with the cape and helmet?" Calvin's Dad asked to Calvin.

"Oh! Uh... its for show and tell today!" Calvin said, trying to think of a quick answer.

Calvin's Dad sighed, not wanting to know what Calvin was up to, and then soon left off to work.

"Calvin, if your taking that to school, at least don't wear it to school, its pretty cold out." Calvin's Mom said as she looked out the window.

"Oh please! People like me can survive anything! I'll prove it to you right now!" Calvin said as he ran out the front door, only to come in moments later freezing.

"I stand corrected..." Calvin said shivering as he took of his cape and helmet and put on his winter jacket. He then stuffed them into a large bag he was taking to school with him, with some other stuff in it.

Calvin's Mom didn't ask about the other stuff that was in Calvin's bag, as she didn't want to know what his show and tell really was. However, she was slightly confused when she saw an evil grin on Calvin's face as he left toward the bus stop.

"What's in the bag Calvin?" Calvin's next door neighbor and classmate Susie asked as she came up to the bus stop.

"Stuff that I'm using to go for the gusto."

"Which is?"

"I can't tell you, its top secret."

"It is NOT top secret! You just don't want to show me!"

"Well its so top secret, only boys are allowed to see it. Not icky girls." Calvin said as he stuck his tongue out at Susie.

Susie simply ignored Calvin, but she noticed that Calvin had an evil grin as he walked onto the bus, but thought nothing on it.

Little did Susie know that what was in the bad contained all the components to what would become the infamous Noodle Incident.


	2. The Start of the Incident

**Chapter 2: The Start of the Incident**

At school, Calvin put the bag into his locker, and proceeded to go to class.

In class, Calvin acted abnormally normal, as he was very quiet, seemed to be paying attention, and even answered a couple of questions correctly when he was called on, which shocked everybody.

Miss Wormwood was probably the most surprised, but she had a suspicion that Calvin was up to something, but eventually decided that Calvin had simply turned over a new leaf.

Then, fifteen minutes before lunchtime, Calvin sprang his plan into action.

"And so, in 1492, Christopher Columbus-

 _ **COUGH! COUGH! COUGH! COUGH!**_

"Miss Wormwood, can I get a drink of water to help my throat?" Calvin asked, doing the best fake cough impression he ever could.

"Yes Calvin, but try and hurry back so you don't miss much of the lesson." Miss Wormwood said. She was slightly confused as she saw Calvin grinning on his way out of the classroom, but thought nothing of it and continued teaching.

"She bought it! What a dumb teacher!" Calvin said proudly as he ran to his locker to get his bag.

Calvin grabbed the helmet and cape and put it on so he wouldn't be detected, thinking that nobody would recognize Calvin with the helmet and cape. But Calvin being Calvin, didn't realize that anyone could figure out it was him with his red shirt with black horizontal stripes, and wearing the same black sweatpants and the same magenta shoes he wore every single day to school.

Calvin then took out what was remaining in his bag. He first grabbed a bottle of hot sauce, a couple of salamanders, and then he grabbed one other thing, a large heaping bag of...

Take a guess what was in the bag.

Yes, it was a large heaping bag of noodles that Calvin had stolen from home.

Calvin then snuck down to the boiler room, which was open much to his delight and luck, and then did something that nobody would even think of doing.

He poured some hot sauce, some noodles, and some of the salamanders into the boiler.

Calvin then bolted out of the boiler room, and ran to the cafeteria, and snuck into the kitchen, where the lunch ladies were making lunch for the day, which was ironically, noodles.

The lunch ladies were oblivious to the fact Calvin had snuck in, and poured some of the noodles, hot sauce, and salamanders into the pots that were boiling with noodles that were to be served for lunch.

After that, Calvin put the stuff back into his locker, and went back to class.

Then, a few minutes later, the lunch bell rang, and Calvin was the first one out.

And that's when things started to get wild.


	3. The Start of the Chaos

**Chapter 3: The Start of the Chaos**

On his way to the lunch room, Calvin went back to his locker, put on his costume again, and took the noodles, hot sauce, and salamanders with him to the lunchroom.

Calvin sat quietly down at a table, and waited quietly, and grinned evilly. Nobody saw this since Calvin had a space helmet on.

"EEK! THERE'S DEAD SALAMANDER IN HERE!"

"THE NOODLES ARE BURNING! ITS LIKE THEY WERE MADE WITH HOT SAUCE!"

"I'M GOING TO BE SICK!"

Calvin grinned, his plan was working well.

With a bunch of students complaining to the lunch ladies, Calvin snuck back into the kitchen and poured the rest of the noodles, hot sauce, and salamanders into the pots that had noodles cooking and them, and then left.

Calvin then returned to the table he was sitting at, where Susie was sitting at.

"How's lunch?"

"Ugh, Calvin... I don't want to hear about your gross lunch."

"I didn't bring one."

"Look, just because the cafeteria food is bad today, doesn't mean that-

 ** _FWOOM!_**

"FIRE!" A cafeteria lady yelled, and pulled the fire alarm. The cafeteria went into mass panic and everyone was running to find an open door.

Soon, the fire department was called, and soon there were several fire trucks and police cars at the school.

While everyone was waiting outside, Calvin snuck onto one of the firetrucks, grabbed a hose, and then started spraying everyone with water.

The water was freezing, and the students were going crazy.

Principal Spittle, who was already nervous from what damage was caused from the fire, waited as the fire department put out the fire, but then noticed a kid with a space helmet and cape on spraying everyone with a hose from the fire truck.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who it was.

"CALVIN!" Principal Spittle yelled as he, Miss Wormwood, a couple of police officers, and a few firemen came to the firetruck where Calvin was.

Calvin panicked, and then got into the drivers' seat of the fire truck and managed to use some sticks to reach the pedals, and slammed on the gas.

But then CRASHED into the school, starting ANOTHER fire!

"GAH!" Calvin yelled as he jumped out of the fire truck and made a mad dash for a police car that had the door open for the drivers' seat, with the others in close pursuit.

It was a little hard to get to the car with the sticks Calvin was using, but managed to get to it somehow and drove away from the school.

"GET HIM! DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!" Principal Spittle yelled as he packed into a squad car with Miss Wormwood and a few other officers.


	4. The Short Chase

**Sorry for the long delay! I was on vacation. But now, enjoy the last few chapters!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4: The Short Chase**

Calvin drove like a maniac. He didn't know what to do now, all he was concerned about was getting away. While on the road, he swerved all over the place like crazy, causing tons of accidents.

"He won't get away once we do the PIT maneuver." The Police Chief said as he closed in on Calvin, preparing to do the PIT maneuver.

"It better..." Principal Spittle hissed.

When the Police Chief did the PIT maneuver however, Calvin somehow maintained control slightly, but ended up driving the car straight into a forest, out of sight. The police car Calvin was driving flipped over a couple times, and even hit some trees. But Calvin got out without any injury somehow. Calvin got out of the car and made a run for it.

The others drove over to where Calvin had entered the forest, and saw the wrecked car, with nobody in it. They began to search to Calvin, while the Police Chief called for more officers to try and find Calvin.

 _ **Meanwhile at Calvin's House...**_

Calvin's house was quiet. Calvin's Dad was at work and Calvin's Mom was doing grocery shopping for the week. Hobbes was in Calvin's room drawing mustaches on his comic books. Hobbes heard sirens, for the 5th time that day.

"Geez, that's the 5th time today! What on earth could be going on?!" Hobbes said as he looked out the bedroom window to see if he could see any police cars or fire trucks, but didn't see any.

"I doubt Calvin could cause THAT much trouble..." Hobbes said as he went back to drawing mustaches, but then he realized something.

He remembered Calvin saying he was going for the gusto.

He remembered Calvin had a large bag with him when he went on the bus.

Hobbes groaned, knowing that Calvin was mostly behind it.

However, he didn't really care about it too much since he then decided to go and make a tuna fish sandwich.

 ** _Back with Calvin..._**

"Phew! M-maybe I-I've g-gotten away from them!" Calvin said shivering, as he wandered around in the forest.

"Geez, I b-better get home so I can t-triumph my v-victory." Calvin said as he looked for some sort of sign to see which way he was going.

Then, he saw something that made him grin.

He noticed that their was an imprint of him and Hobbes from the sledding accident they had the other day.

"HA! I'M HOME CLEAR!" Calvin said as he started to run toward his house.

"What a day! What a day! This is my greatest accomplishment ever! I'll have to tell my grandchildren about this if I have an-"

"GOTCHA!" A police officer said as he grabbed Calvin.

"We got him!" Another one said pleased.

"GET OFF ME! I WAS FRAMED! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! IT WAS MY DUPLICATE! IT WAS SUSIE! IT WAS MOE!"

"Nice try kid, we know its you. Now we're going to go back to school to have a nice, long, talk with your Principal." The officer said as he began to drag Calvin to his police car.

"NO! I DEMAND A LAWYER! I WAS FRAMED! I'LL TAKE THIS TO THE SUPREME COURT IF I HAVE TO! IT WASN'T ME! YOU STUPID SON OF A MOE!" Calvin said as he continued to kick, scream, rant, and everything else you could imagine.

"That kid needs help." The other officer said sighing as he followed.


	5. Calvin's Defeat (Yet Again)

**Chapter 5: Calvin's Defeat (Yet Again)**

Calvin sat in Principal Spittle's office with a couple of Police Officers, a couple of Firemen, and Miss Wormwood. All of them were looking at Calvin furiously.

"What?" Calvin said.

"Calvin, do you even know WHAT you even did today?" Principal Spittle said, fuming.

"No! I was framed!"

"Everyone saw you! We have several witnesses! Plus, your the only one that wears the same thing to school every day!" Miss Wormwood snapped.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!"

"HOW?!"

"MOE WEARS THE SAME THING EVERYDAY TO YOU LOON! BESIDES, I WAS FRAMED!"

Miss Wormwood then left the office, muttering, "Five more years until retirement."

"Calvin, what you did today was cruel, malicious, and dangerous among other things. You could've hurt or killed someone!" Principal Spittle said angrily.

"Oh please! They have legs! They could've escaped from the loon that did it! It was my duplicate!"

"Kid, everyone saw you, just fess up." The Police Chief grumbled.

"NEVER!"

"Kid, your going to get expelled most likely. I mean, do you know how much damage you caused?!" A fireman said.

"Can't you just get rid of the pay the teachers and faculty get? They're all from the streets and probably don't even have a teaching degree." Calvin scoffed.

Principal Spittle had to be held back by a fireman from going after Calvin.

"Calvin, this is going to cost thousands of dollars to make repairs for all the damage you've made today. We may have to lay off some people just to pay the costs. Heck, I'll be lucky if I even have a JOB after today!" Principal Spittle snapped.

"Sounds like a personal problem." Calvin scoffed.

Then, with no warning, the Superintendent slammed open the Principal's Office door.

 ** _SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_**

"Looks like somebody is getting fired." A fireman whispered to the Police Chief.

"Oh, Mr. Superintendent!" Principal Spittle said, trying to act calm.

"Spittle, I DEMAND an explanation for this whole mess this second!" The Superintendent spat furiously.

"Well, this kid here caused it all." The Police Chief said, pointing at Calvin.

"IT WASN'T ME! I WAS FRAMED!"

"You..." The Superintendent grumbled, glaring at Calvin.

"Oh great, its the Superinincompoop." Calvin said sarcastically.

The Superintendent lunged at Calvin, but Principal Spittle had to restrain him.

"Mr. Superintendent, calm down!"

"CALM DOWN?! HOW THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN SPITTLE?! THIS IS GOING TO BE ALL OVER THE PLACE! OUR BUDGET IS GOING TO BE ALL OUT OF WHACK THANKS TO THIS!"

"How about we just expel the kid and be done with this?" The Fire Chief suggested.

"YES! LETS! But first, I'm calling his parents!" The Superintendent said as he reached for the phone on Principal Spittle's desk.

"NO! DON'T CALL MY PARENTS! I'LL BE SHIPPED OFF THIS CONTINENT AND STARVE TO DEATH!" Calvin said grabbing the Superintendent's legs.

"Too bad so sad! Man, I've waited so long for this moment!" The Superintendent said as he began to dial the phone.

"Actually, you can't expel anyone right now." Principal Spittle said nervously.

"WHAT?!"

Principal Spittle handed the Superintendent a letter from the Regional Superintendent that was sent the other day, which halted expulsions from taking place because he was working out new guidelines on what offenses led to expulsion.

The Superintendent crumbled up the paper in fury, "What else can we do then?!"

"I know what we will do. Calvin, you will have an in-school suspension for the rest of the school year. With extra homework and projects. I' shall also call your parents." Principal Spittle said firmly.

"NO! PLEASE! THIS SCHOOL WON'T LAST IF YOU DO THAT! I'LL START A COUP AND OVERTHROW IT IF YOU DO!"

The Superintendent and Principal Spittle looked each other and thought of Calvin launching a coup against the school. The Superintendent nodded at Principal Spittle.

"How about this, if you do everything we ask of you, we won't call your parents." Principal Spittle said.

"Fine!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Excuse me, I just had to drop off the cost to repair the damages." A contractor said as he gave a sheet of paper to the Superintendent and left.

"What the- FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS?!"

"Uh-oh..." Calvin said wincing.

 _ **SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**_

"I almost feel sorry for the guy." Calvin muttered.


	6. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"Boy did I get in trouble at school today. Wow."

"What happened?"

"I don't even want to talk about it."

Calvin was finally home from school, and was taking a walk through the snow with Hobbes. They walked in silence for a moment.

"Did it have anything to do with those sirens around noon?"

"I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT." Calvin said extremely annoyed.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Positive?"

"You sure your sure?"

"ALRIGHT I'LL TELL YOU!" Calvin said annoyed as he then began to tell the whole mess to Hobbes.

"Wow. You should consider yourself lucky." Hobbes said surprised after Calvin finished the story.

"Lucky?! I have to face extra torture for the rest of the year!" Calvin said annoyed.

"They could've expelled you and called your parents. You could be dead right now."

"Yeah, I guess anything is better than my parents finding out." Calvin said sighing as they began to walk back inside.

"So did you enjoy going for the gusto?"

"Shut up." Calvin grumbled as he went back inside.

Eventually, after a couple weeks of serving his in-school suspension, Calvin was placed back in Miss Wormwood's classroom, as Principal Spittle was worried that with the school being unusually normal with Calvin working on extra homework and projects everyday, Calvin would plan something even worse, so he decided to cut it short and send Calvin back into the classroom.

Calvin's parents never found out about it, and things turned back to normal at Bill Watterson Elementary School.

However, Calvin was forced to live with the fact that he did it, but he still claims that he was framed.

And that is the story of the infamous Noodle Incident. (At least in my eyes)

 **THE END**


End file.
